Fading into the Foreground
by Phantasmal Abduction
Summary: Riku centric fic to the song Faint by Linkin Park. Short kinda halfsummary inside. I think it's better than this summary sounds :


Everybody is saved. The worlds are safe, happiness reigns. Riku was rescued, but the darkness inside him marks him apart from the rest. He will never be the same. These are his thoughts.

_I am  
A little bit of loneliness  
A little bit of disregard  
A handful of complaints  
But I can't help the fact  
That everyone can see these scars_

Everything I am Kairi, is nothing. And I know that you know it. Apart from everyone else, I live in a world of loneliness, ignored by my so-called friends. How can I help but hate the way I'm living and the pain you cause? It doesn't matter though, because I'm set apart by the crisscrossing scars of silver left across my body and soul by the Darkness.

_I am  
What I want you to want  
What I want you to feel  
But it's like  
No matter what I do  
I can't convince you  
To just believe this is real._

I try to live as the being I know you wish that I were. Looking into your eyes and seeing the love, I want to be that love. I want you to love me. The lie that I live holds my soul inside. Without the lies and deceptions that I know you want, I would become a body with no spirit. Maybe I am already. Maybe because of the delicate chains that bind my soul to earth, you won't accept my living lie as reality.

_So I let go  
Watching you  
Turn your back like you always do  
Face away and pretend that I'm not  
But I'll be here_  
'_Cause you're all that I've got._

Kairi, I can see how you turn away from me, to you blue eyed hero. I, the enigmatic child of darkness, mysterious and unreachable, was nothing but a passing distraction until he took your hand. I need to let go of the fantasies and see you face away from your forgotten dark-child. I must let you pretend that your lies are real; even as they destroy mine.

Even though my life of lies crumbles in the face of you and him, I need to desperately pretend like it's all ok. My clouded blue-green eyes will ever watch your footsteps and follow your false happiness, for the façade that I live is held together by the eternal hope of you. You are all that I have got.

_I am  
A little bit insecure  
A little unconfident_  
'_Cause you don't understand  
I do what I can  
But sometimes I don't make sense._

I have nothing but the darkness that crawls deep within my soul. It is that black of night, that hellish dark that slashes deep scars across my soul and causes me to hide who I am. The face you see, of assurance, cynicism and seemingly veiled laughter is nothing, a delicate tissue barrier. One touch would tear the fabric and my lies would crumble into a pile of nonsense. It is no surprise to me that no one bothers to touch the mask that has always hidden me. Least of all you, Kairi.

_I am  
What you never want to say  
But I've never had a doubt  
It's like no matter what I do  
I can't convince you  
For once just to hear me out._

_So I let go  
Watching you  
Turn your back like you always do  
Face away and pretend that I'm not  
But I'll be here_  
'_Cause you're all that I've got._

In your frantically begging eyes, I can see the need for untruths. Without the mask and pretences and half-truths, I would be everything you never wanted to be, everything that you wanted to forget. You must have noticed that I have stopped asking for your acceptance which I now know you will never give me. But I'm not even sure if you notice me letting you go.

I can see what my hope is. Nothing but a cruel deception, not even hope at all. You don't care. The brutal 'hope' that sustains me keeps your pretend world intact and that is all that matters to you.

You never look at me anymore and I can feel the force of your hopes, that when you turn again I will be gone. I want to do that for you Kairi, I wish I could, but I cannot. You are my world, and everything that I want, everything that I imagine I have, and so I can't leave. Even when you forget me, I will be here hiding behind the false face of mine. I will wait until the end of time for you, living on my cursed hope and blessed lies. Maybe then you will see me, maybe once again I could smile.


End file.
